Lacey's Draft #1

DRAFT

This is only a draft of the beginning concepts for my fanfic. At the moment it is too long and doesn't quite reach the point of where I want it to within the 800 word limit as I got a bit carried away so in my next draft I will be cutting a lot of parts out and changing the plot to get to where I want it to quicker. Currently there is no dialogue because I stopped writing after I realised I'd surpassed the word limit but after editing there will definitely be more dialogue and interaction with new characters in the second draft.

This fanfic is based on the TV series "Skins". It continues on from the end of the season 2 finale, set four years in the future and focuses around the character of Cassie returning home to the people she left behind.

Her heels of ruby red clacked melodically as she strode down the concrete sidewalk, light as always, as though her small frame had been caught in one of the mid autumn gusts which whirled about the streets, and rustled softly through the golden trees. It had been a long time since she had walked these familiar roads, years in fact, and yet everything seemed to be just as she had left it. The old brick houses, the dreary British sky above, and to her left, the store from which she remembered so long ago cheekily stealing a scarf which she had quite fancied. Where that scarf was now she did not know. She guessed she'd given it away some time ago. She never kept clothes for too long, she always loved giving them away once she'd outworn them, setting them free into the world so that they could live out some fantastical adventure in exotic lands. She imagined now, that knitted wool scarf, twirled around the neck of some beautifully elegant woman, in France perhaps? Yes, France she decided. She could picture her now, sitting on her balcony, a fragile china teacup balanced between her thumb and forefinger, long black hair blowing gently in the wind. How romantic she thought. She'd always wanted to go to France. That would be her next destination. Of course she'd been to a lot of foreign countries since she'd left. Peru, Cambodia, Russia, she particularly enjoyed Japan. The outrageous clothes and colours had made her eyes bulge and her heart swell. Oh how she loved colours. Yellow was her favourite, and orange, and pink, anything bright and cheery that made her lips smile. How she loved to smile.

She couldn't wait to see Reuben, her little Reuben. She imagined he must be so big by now and just as greedy as ever. Her mum and dad would be so glad to see her also, she hoped. She felt guilty that she hadn't said goodbye, or that she'd not spoken to them since. She didn't mean to leave so unexpectedly, but she did. She had to do it. It's not like there was much to stay for anyway. No one had needed her. No one had wanted her. Not even him. Not even Sid...

At the thought of the boy she was once so in love with, her chest began to ache. Why had he not wanted her, what was wrong with her? was she not pretty enough? not as pretty as Michelle? She was definitely thinner, that much gave her some satisfaction. She'd beat Michelle at that at least. She never did understand it, it's not like Michelle had wanted him back anyway, why didn't he see that, why didn't he see how much SHE wanted him. NEEDED him. Her head became flustered. Why was she thinking of this again?. After all these years, after all the distance she'd put between them so as to forget the boy who broke her heart, it seemed as though coming back home meant coming back to heartache.

She shook her head, long wavy tresses of gold tousled about her shoulders as she did so and fell still about her face. She looked into a shop window as she passed., her reflection looking back at her. She hadn't changed much she supposed. Her hair was still the same blonde if only slightly longer and slightly more wild. She dressed much the same, a vintage yellow dress with touches of lace, hung off her petite body. Not much protection from the slight chill in the autumn air. She knew she should have worn her cardigan. Thick white tights adorned her legs which disappeared into her ruby red heels. She was just a tiny as always. No weight lost, but no weight gained either. She was pleased about this. She imagined the others would not be if they could see her now. Especially not Sid. He never did like it when she starved herself. Not that she needed to worry herself with such thoughts now, the others were all long gone, just like she herself had been up until now. No need to concern herself with thoughts of awkward encounters or explanations of where she'd been for the last four years. They wouldn't care anyway. They'd probably forgotten all about her, moved on with their new and exciting lives filled with new and exciting people. She couldn't help but wonder what had became of them all. Where they were now, what they had become. Especially him.

The small brick house stood just as it always had on a street that looked all too much like it had the last time she had stood here. She simply stared for a while, the feeling of home felt so surreal. Her mind flooded with thoughts of her parents. Her childhood. Her baby brother and how much she loved him. Her bedroom. The mirror which hang on her wall and all the times she would look into it and hate herself. Her mind swirled erratically. The good memories and the bad bleeding into one big mess until she could not remember if she was ever truly happy here. Why had she come back to a place she could not ever remember being happy in, at least not for a long time anyway.

She stood in a daze, her big brown eyes staring blankly at the house before her, she could not will herself to venture any closer. This is not what she thought it would feel like. This is not how she thought it would be. She had imagined it a million times. Her tiny fists knocking on the green painted door. The door swinging open to reveal the face of her mother, then her father, then little Reuben would appear. He would be able to walk now. They would all be shocked at first, trying to comprehend wether or not it was really their long lost Cassie who had returned to them. Then they would cry. And she would hug them, and they would hug her back then they'd all smile and cry and laugh together and everyone would be so happy that she was back. But she couldn't. She just couldn't. For the first time since she had decided to come back to Bristol she thought that that might not be how it would go. Maybe they wouldn't cry. Maybe they wouldn't hug her, or be happy. Maybe they'd be upset, or angry or perhaps...perhaps they wouldn't even care.

As the realisation hit her she suddenly felt ill. She dropped the brown leather suitcase which her right fist had been clutching dearly and it landed with a thud at her side before tipping itself over onto the cobblestones. She felt cold, but not from the wind. From the loneliness that ripped at her being, slithered its way through her pumping veins, and tore at her pounding heart.